I love being married. I think that marriage is good for you, especially when both partners are working together every day to keep things on track.
We live in a society where we are freer than ever to marry who we want. With the advent of technology allowing flexible hours and the ability to work remotely, we can structure our lives to spend more time than ever with the people that we chose to love. The freedom to have a home office and to work when my kids are doing homework is a big part of the reason why I chose to create this blog.
When financial pressures are coupled with too much emphasis on status, it’s very easy to fall into placing more value on careers, and influence than on family life. I think both career and family are both equally important because the success of one depends upon the success of the other. I just read a crazy statistic that women are the breadwinners in 60% of American households, so the demands now on women are greater than ever before to excel in the workplace. What I’ve learned from being a wife and mother is the importance of trying to build my job around my life and not my life around my job.
For me, my career became much more meaningful once I had created my own family. But as someone who has achieved career success and influence over the years, I always say it’s not what you do, but who you are. I tell the four millennial kids that my husband, Chris, and I are raising, that being defined by love – self-love first and then giving love and being loved in return is my greatest wish for how they will live their lives. Here are a few of the awesome advantages that I think married life offers:
- Support System
There’s nothing like going out there and flexing your brain and getting paid for the mental muscle you bring to your hustle. I’m not going to lie, every field of business is more difficult than ever right now, our whole economy is in flux. When things get tough, I take refuge in my husband. We try and show our kids that when you’re married you’ll always have a built in best friend to turn to. When things don’t go so well at work, or you get kicked to curb at your job, which is inevitable no matter who you are, with a spouse you can can always have someone to talk with, bounce things off of and to help you bounce right back. You may love your job, but work is NOT love.
- Strengths and Weakness
If I’m honest with myself, even though I put pressure on myself all the time, I’m not good at everything, I mean, no matter how hard most of us beat ourselves up, no one can really be good at everything. That’s the great part about having a significant other is that you all can shine the light for each other when the way seems dark, or make each other laugh at yourselves instead of beating yourselves up for your short comings. One of the true challenges of marriage is learning to identify and play off each other’s strengths. Birds do it. Bees do it. Teamwork is the basic building block of everything in life.
- The Juggle Is Real
As a young single, you think you’re juggling when you have a job, side hustle, and social life? When you become a wife and a working mother – the juggle gets very real. No one likes the word sacrifice – it sounds like torture doesn’t it? When I went from being selfish and single to becoming a wife and mother, the physical, financial, and scheduling sacrifices involved in creating a marriage, a home, and a family continue to be the greatest character building exercises of my life. These sacrifices put things into perspective and illustrate to me daily what’s important in life. Sacrifice is a form of Zen. Sacrificing has taught me not only selflessness, but also the best kind of selfishness. In the end, both selflessness and selfishness have helped me to grow into a better person. Let me explain.
For so long, I was the career woman who let recognition, money, and workplace success be the definition of who I was as a person, but for me there was always an emptiness that I couldn’t put my finger on. I admit I was scared to death of plunging into the irreversible proposition of marriage and motherhood. But once I made the leap to being the head of household charged with the care and comfort of building my marriage and family as the centerpiece of life’s work, I literally can’t imagine life any other way. My only regret about getting married and having children? I wish I would have had the guts to do it sooner. My career is super important to me still, and it MEANS MORE to me and NOT LESS since the addition of marriage and family. Why? Every dollar I make goes to building a beautiful life for us. Going to work sets an example of dedication and delayed gratification for my kids. My time has become more precious than ever in all areas of my life because my calendar is packed with things I need and love to do for myself and with the needs of the people who I love and love to do things for. Do I make sacrifices all the time? You bet. You know what? I wouldn’t change that for the world because it’s made me more disciplined, focused, structured and ultimately more fulfilled as a person.
Those are just a few of the many things I love about marriage. Let me know you what your favorite things about being married..
my wedding photo x @carlyottness