I’m all about pro-aging now. Pro-aging is the opposite of anti-aging, because while growing in years, not to mention wisdom, might require more care of of our bodies and our minds, it’s a natural part of life, so I say don’t fight it embrace it.
There are things that changing in my body like it’s harder to wake-up in the morning, it takes longer to build muscle and keep my body tight in the gym and maintaining my ideal healthy weight is becoming increasingly challenging as my hormones prefer to pack the pounds on hips and thighs.
Ah, but this is life and when I judge myself by the single standard which matters the most, that I am lucky enough to be healthy and given yet another day that I can do something with, snug jeans and tight waistbands get filed away as wistful concerns.
Being pro-aging means living in the now. It’s a discipline. The biggest thing is to notice, catch and interrupt myself anytime I’m having a negative conversation with myself and replace it with a positive one. it’s important to admit shortcomings, but it’s most important to replace criticism with critical thinking and an action plan. It’s really hard to do since as women we’ve been indoctrinated to feel that once we hit thirty that we are getting old. To the point where we don’t realized that we are just coming into our powers as women instead of losing them. Maybe the perception is pegged to the slowing down of reproductive cycles where at age thirty-five is medically termed “a ‘ geriatric pregnancy”.
Like a lot of women now days, I was just getting started on my family at that age. Which brings me to the point that we need to change the conversation around beauty and age. At the risk of sounding like a jerk or ungrateful, there’s something depressing about the compliment when people tell me “you don’t look like you’re fifty, you look so young”. The reason it gets me down is something that I’ve been trying to put my finger on for a while, and it’s that we think age in a woman is not to be either desired or revered . I am a woman in full. I am a of age who regularly seeks out the advice and company of women my age and older. I’m here to tell you, the biggest compliment yo can give someone of any age is “You look so healthy and good”.
Saying “you look healthy”, and “you look good” is the pro-aging response, because affirms both age and life experience. Instead of comparing myself to other women, because that’s a negative conversation – we’ve all been there – I choose to ask the empowering question for everyone in the room; “What do you do to live so well?” For most of us living well is a combination of learning to manage stress, a descent diet, and good skin care, the bells and whistles of exercise routines and feats of dermatology like Botox and chemical peels. What I find that comes out of asking the question “how do you live so well” is a conversation about now.
Being pro-aging means appreciating where you are right now. Owning where you are right now. Yes, I have few extra menopausal pounds and the dark spots on my forehead nose and cheeks that come with the hormonal changes with age – and let me not forget my reading glasses and the occasional little aches and pains- but I am healthy and powerful in my mind and body. Being pro life means embracing change in all it’s forms including those that come with age. Sure, not everything is perfect, but I have the power to change myself for the stronger and the better is at more my command right now more than ever before.
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story x @veronicawebb
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track pants x @escadasport
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vest x @escadasport
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